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Are You Dating a Sociopath?

Updated on May 14, 2009

Is My Partner a Sociopath?

Sociopaths (also known as psychopaths) live among us. It's an ugly truth. Antisocial personality disorders do not discriminate--young, old, male, female--anyone can become a sociopath.

It may seem difficult to identify a sociopath, especially if he or she happens to be your partner. Nevertheless, there are several steps that you can take to identify the early warning signs of antisocial personality disorder.

10 Ways to Identify a Sociopath

  1. Listen to the way your partner speaks. Most sociopaths put themselves on pedestals. Their grandiose sense of self makes them feel entitled to certain things. They see these things as "their right."
  2. Pay attention to the way the person treats you. A sociopath is manipulative, domineering, controlling, and takes pleasure in humiliating his victim(s). Sociopaths have self-serving behaviors.
  3. Count the lies. Sociopaths are notorious liars. It's almost impossible for a sociopath to tell the truth.
  4. Observe the way the person expresses his or her emotions. A sociopath has an incapacity for love. Promiscuity, addictions, verbal outbursts and physical punishments are the sociopath's way of stimulating himself.
  5. Wait until he or she says or does something wrong. The sociopath shows no remorse, shame or guilt. Although a sociopath may be outraged by insignifican matters, he or she will remain unmoved by serious matters.
  6. Count his or her friends. A sociopath has trouble making and keeping friends. He will make up an excuse for this, too.
  7. Listen to other people. Sociopaths do not become sociopaths overnight. They have a history. Sometimes these histories include aberrant behaviors, including: stealing, lying, promiscuity, and cruelty to people or animals.
  8. Observe the way she blames others. The sociopath does not take responsibility for her actions. Instead, she blames others, even for acts she obviously committed.
  9. Listen to his plans for the future. The sociopath makes unrealistic plans for the future. He does not fulfill his promises and exploits those that try to help him achieve his goals.
  10. Take a step back. It may be hard to recognize a sociopath, especially when you're in a relationship with this person. A sociopath can become very abusive. Unfortunately, the abuse will not stop. The sociopath "gets by" by promising, lying, and manipulating. This will create a sense of hoplessness in the victim, thus producing an addictive cycle for abuser and abused.

How to Stop Dating a Sociopath

Advice For the Partner of a Sociopath

  • If you are in an abusive relationship, it's time to stop the violence. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
  • If you suspect a family member or loved one is being abused by a sociopath (physically, emotionally or mentally), encourage the person to leave the situation.
  • Leaving a sociopath is hard but it can be done. If you do not leave the sociopath, your situation will never improve.

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